![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Valuable (Internet) Life Lessons
May. 9th, 2010 12:33 pmFor reference
1) When people are saying bad things about you on an anon meme or in a particular comment thread or community (things more serious than "fangirl x is a terrible writer and I hate herbecause she's more popular than I am"), drawing attention to it is seriously counterproductive. Especially if you have reason to think that the bad things being said may have some basis in truth. Because many of your friends may be supportive, but you're massively increasing the number of people who now know something less-than-flattering about you.
2) When someone you know or like is criticized or accused of something, there's a natural instinct we all have to be supportive or to leap to their defense. Learn to suppress that. Seriously - we're all capable of offending other people, we're all capable of doing bad things, whether deliberately or by accident, and unconditional support can sometimes do more harm than good. "Screw the haters" is a perfectly valid response if someone is calling your friend names, but if someone says they were hurt by your friend's behavior, then dismissing/insulting them may compound that hurt. And especially if it's an issue like sexual assault, abuse, sexism, racism - your own words can contribute to a culture of silencing, shaming or oppression, even if that's not what you intend. I'm not saying to abandon your friends at the first sign of trouble - just let the adrenaline die down and the whole situation sink in before you jump in to a public discussion. Because regrets and screencaps are forever.
1) When people are saying bad things about you on an anon meme or in a particular comment thread or community (things more serious than "fangirl x is a terrible writer and I hate her
2) When someone you know or like is criticized or accused of something, there's a natural instinct we all have to be supportive or to leap to their defense. Learn to suppress that. Seriously - we're all capable of offending other people, we're all capable of doing bad things, whether deliberately or by accident, and unconditional support can sometimes do more harm than good. "Screw the haters" is a perfectly valid response if someone is calling your friend names, but if someone says they were hurt by your friend's behavior, then dismissing/insulting them may compound that hurt. And especially if it's an issue like sexual assault, abuse, sexism, racism - your own words can contribute to a culture of silencing, shaming or oppression, even if that's not what you intend. I'm not saying to abandon your friends at the first sign of trouble - just let the adrenaline die down and the whole situation sink in before you jump in to a public discussion. Because regrets and screencaps are forever.
